Do Pentagon Black Sites Have the Best Amenities? CIA Directors Who Oompa Loompa, but only for the Cause of Democracy + Make Wuv Not War from the Mr. Fish Archives

Responding to a lawsuit, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) told a federal judge last week that it had a right to leak classified information to one select group of journalists and then to deny release of exactly the same information to other journalists requesting it under the Freedom of Information Act.

Though we are fascinated by the CIA’s claim to the right to leak classified information to journalists of its own choosing, we are especially intrigued by the exceedingly cordial, rather intimate tone of the Wall Street Journal’s former intelligence correspondent and her fascination with truly important news: the nature of the physical fitness amenities available to the likes of then-CIA Director, General David Petraeus. Who has the better gym facilities – the CIA, Pentagon, Congress or do black sites really have all the good perks?

Writes former CIA analyst and whistleblower, John Kiriakou:

In one example that [journalist Adam] Johnson cited in his suit, The Wall Street Journal’s Gorman wrote to the

Former Wall St Journal correspondent Siobhan Gorman’s Twitter profile. Diving deep for the important stuff, Gorman expressed interest in how the gym facilities at black sites compared with those of the CIA, Pentagon and Congress.

CIA’s Office of Public Affairs, “I’m told that on runs, Director Petraeus’s security detail hands him bottles of water, relay-style, so as not to slow him down. And you mentioned the director’s running a 6-minute mile, but I was told that the agency-wide invitation was that if you could run a 7-minute mile, you can come run with the director. I wanted to make sure both are is [sic] accurate. On the chart, it’s accurate to say that the congressional gym and the Pentagon gym ranked high, right? And I was just told that the facilities at the black sites were better than the ones at CIA. Don’t know whether that’s something you want to weigh in on, but I thought I’d see if you did.”

The CIA responded the same day. “Siobhan …” The rest of the document is redacted. In closing, the CIA added, “We can chat more on Monday, hope this helps.” That’s it. The entire response was deemed to be too classified for you and me. But it was okay for Siobhan Gorman. She quickly responded, “Thanks for the help. I hope I wasn’t the cause of your dental appointment delay. This is very helpful as I try to tie up loose ends on this story. Sometimes ‘fun’ stories take as much work as their ‘less fun’ brethren. Sorry for all the qus [sic].”

Unfortunately we shall be forced to wait for the response of the Office of Public Affairs, as that information remains classified for the time being.

Only for a very good cause in the interests of democracy

Next, watch former CIA Director James Woolsey deftly switch from English to Oompa Loompa after Laura Ingraham inexplicably asks him the direct, albeit friendly question, “We don’t do that now though? Mess around in other peoples’ elections, Jim?”



James Woolsey on the Russians’ efforts to disrupt elections
The Ingraham Angle , February 16, 2018

Transcribed excerpt:

Laura Ingraham: Have we ever tried to meddle in other countries’ elections?

James Woolsey: Oh, probably, but it was for the good of the system in order to avoid the Communists from taking over, for example in Europe in ‘47, ‘48, ‘49 the Greeks, the Italians, the CIA….

LI: We don’t do that now though? Mess around in other peoples’ elections, Jim?

JW: Weeellllllll…….num num num num num [strange, unintelligible gibberish causing Ingraham and others off-camera to burst into laughter]….only for a very good cause.

LI: [already lost interest in what she had to say here]

JW: Only for a very good cause in the interests of democracy.


Inevitably, James Woolsey’s adoption of the Oompa Loompa num-num dialect reminded me of this classic from the Mr. Fish archives, first published on July 21, 2010, titled Make Wuv Not War. Once you have envisioned Tiffany Bani-Bunhammid’s protest, the image will likely remain. Num num!

Make Wuv Not War

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